When I was in elementary school I had a friend named Katie. Katie was homeschooled, well educated on all the British literature, and knew everything there was to know about etiquette. She knew where to place her silverware while eating, how to remove her napkin from the table and secure it upon her lap, and when it was appropriate to speak at the dinner table. The girl knew it all. And I was totally jealous.
I longed to pace the floors of my home with such class and elegance. I yearned to know the proper way to ask for the salt to be passed and I would have died to hold my teacup with my pinky finger reaching for the sky. Really, I think I just wanted to be her.
One summer day Katie's mom agreed to give us a lesson in etiquette. Together Katie and I spent hours choosing the perfect outfits for our special afternoon tea and attempting to position our hair into the perfect bun atop our heads. We then moved to the kitchen where we set the table, per direction, and placed tiny cucumber sandwiches upon the most beautifully ornate china I had ever seen. When it was time we took our seats and directed our attention to Katie's mother who was reading from the weathered pages of a book that had to have been a century old. This was clearly the real deal.
And then, then, the tea was served. I have no idea what medley I chose or what color my teacup was, but clear as day I remember ruining the guise I had tried so hard to keep. Katie's mom offered me milk - IN MY TEA - and in a matter of seconds my cover was blown. I can't recall the exclamations, exactly, but knowing me they most likely included "ick, yuck, disgusting, and but won't it curdle?."
Leave it to me to use the word curdle at afternoon tea.
Then I tried the milk. I most likely plugged my nose while doing so, but the shame from my initial reaction prevented me from proving my ignorance further by not participating. The lesson continued and a meal of cucumber sandwiches ensued, but the damage had been done. It was certain that I was no homeschooled, etiquette knowing, pinky raising girl.
Colton is gone tonight which means I can get away with working late and eating Brie...for dinner. I've made myself a pot of mint tea and I'm eating my fancy cheese with a few of those fancy water crackers that don't really taste like anything.
And, because I'm feeling extra sophisticated, I'm putting milk in my tea.
Have a fabulous Monday.